At one time in my life I thought I could get through my Korea experience armed with a phrasebook and by avoiding eye contact.  It was an insular life spent in English-only circles and, of course, conversation with the brainier sections of my own classroom. 

Yes, that was grief.  The kind of grief one might feel after hearing a friend regale life in Berlin as authentic as that of any Bavarian Geschaftsmann.  Why couldn’t I learn sufficient Korean?  Why did I feel like I was missing out on real Korea?  I had started off so strong in the first six months, and then like a child actor who peaks awkwardly at fourteen, I stopped somewhere above Survival but short of FOB.

I realize that just like the Kubler Ross model of grief, I had entered the Five Stages of Not Learning Korean.   These are easy-to-use and progressively worse personal excuses that have allowed me to turn my back on what was really at play: a lack of self-disciplined learning.

1. Denial - We feel that either we have plenty of Korean in our brains to get by and we cancel our class registration or drop out of class.   Our time is also increasingly consumed by work or play.  We may feel that we feel we’re doing just fine with habitually used words and phrases, miming, or facial expressions.   For instance, each time we go shopping, we carry wrappers of the used products so that we can illustrate to store clerks what we want.  After meeting the parents you say to your girl/boyfriend, “Everything went perfectly.” 

2. Anger - Seeing how nothing makes sense, we think Korean speakers are being condescending, cheating, lying, or mysterious.  We continually get into arguments when our cabby takes us down an unfamiliar path, and even when he cheats us, we can’t do much more than rage.  We lose our civility and have little patience since our ability to persuade without words is missing.

3. Bargaining - We start factoring energy and time into the equation, believing that a balance other than fluency can be produced.  Just enough to get the date.  Oh, and I’m leaving Korea in a month or two.  We may also start factoring in costs and other statistics to weigh against the relative worth of learning. 

4. Depression - We can’t get that awesome marketing job at Samsung or we can’t even consider an internship with that law firm or NGO because we’re not bilingual Korean/English speakers.   We realize we can’t get closer with our girlfriend or boyfriend on a subtle, emotional linguistic level.  We realize that the wisdom of grownups, grandparents, mentors even, are at risk of being just garbled words in our ears.  We realize we still speak more English in a day and can’t do make more than a second-grader’s expressive output in speech or writing.

5. Acceptance - We finally gain newfound confidence and resolve to learn the language.  We look at technology to solve a lot of the scheduling and logistics of getting knowledge bits into our noggin.  We promise ourselves to expand our circle of friends to Koreans and really go out there to know Korea as a Korean might. 

At the end of this process is a new beginning, and I try not to think about the cultural growth, friendships, and insight into Korea that may have been lost during my period of not learning Korean.  What I can say is that I have promised to remind myself continually that I will learn Korean for the sake of learning itself–on a broader context what it’s like to be a Korean.  Why?  Because that’s what global citizens do.  Look at these folks for a little inspiration:

They remind me of others who have taken learning the Korean language so much more seriously.  They are part of a group foreign residents and students who attend hakwons to learn Korean because they have–for the most part–committed to live and work and become a part of Korea on a more permanent status.  Statistics show an increasing number foreign brides, and since children are often raised by mothers who don’t know the native language, there are huge complications as both try to integrate into society.

Learning any language is a 10 year project and the most important thing is the concept of making progress not just practice.  When I went to Spain, I was eager to try my few years of high school Spanish.  By the time I uttered Quanto cuesta the storekeeper immediately responded with a Mediterranean flair, It costs 10 euros.  In that regard his English sounded even better.  The Europeans, in this exchange, demonstrated a far better commitment to learn about the languages of their neighbors and other nations than I ever have.

Language is the most important lens through which we receive cultural and social cues, and conversely, the way we express and share ourselves.   Half of the time I think the complaining I hear from those who complain is really a lack of understanding brought upon from not knowing the language.   If you’re anything like me, you might recognize some or all of these stages.   Then it’s not a far reach to believe that now is as good a time as any to learn Korean.  

Link resources:

Language Meetups in Seoul

LiveMocha (free online language study) - UPDATE: Korean is not currently available.

Yonsei Korean Language Institute (KLI website)

Sogang University Korean Language Education Center (website)

Ganada Korean Language Institute (academy located near Hongdae | Also books and CDs are available)

Ehwa Womans University Language Center (website)

Arirang TV’s Lets Speak Korean on Youtube

Rosetta Stone (CDs / Audio program)

Korea Sparkling (Official Tourism Site directory)

–Alex is a graduate student at a university in Seoul

Similar Posts:

• Event | KOTESOL Conference 10/25-26
• Global Ed | Seoul National Wants You
• Public Schools Experiment with English-only Classes
• Blogs | Teaching in Korea Perspective